So back to the history lesson.
Upon arriving back in England and in a new town I attended was a 6th form college. Being the New guy and not having a northern accent a couple of girls started talking to me. I started hanging out with one in particular. We would go baby sitting together and hang out at each other’s house. Before long I had my hand down her blouse and almost to second base. But being a teenagers it wasn’t too sooner before her best friend came up to me and said she didn’t want to be my girlfriend any more as I was boring , had no money and didn’t take her anywhere. I was pretty much devastated.
Then there was another girl at the college that said hey I like you let’s get it on. I felt uncomfortable and wanted to take my time but soon after if found out that very same day she found an empty class room and had sex with another guy.
Then another girl showed up, blonde and gorgeous. She wanted to know about god and for a while we started talking and emotionally being connected. My dad took photos of her for a magazine. She then vanished without a trace only to tune up years later. Never a sorry I hurt you or broke you.
I was pretty much into pornography by this time , buying anything by playboy I liked the images and told myself they was more classy than say penthouse or hustler.
My sister introduced me to a girl that was 18 I was 22 , she was another blonde , she could give a guy the best hand job ever. She never wanted to do anything else. I went away to college for my second degree and she stopped the weekend. On one return trip she was late to meet me. The next day her friend was with her and let it out that she had seen someone else. I was devastated. Tried getting back with her but it was all falling apart and crushing. From that point I never wanted to let someone get so close, it was too painful and totally crushing.
More blondes came into my life; one was the daughter of a guy I was working. All smiles and flirting but then when it came down to it one big headache. The other came into a club I worked at after 3 months of flirting she went off with a guy and got married. Funny thing is I became friends with him only to find out 20 years later he had gone through similar experiences to me.
Then I meet another blonde. She was younger but fun but the kind that went for the soppy stuff, teddy bears and cards, childish gogar talk. Sad thing is by this point I just wanted someone to hang out with. She would stop the night occasionally and we had fun. I lost my virginity to her. Was the worst experience ever? She just lied there did not move. She left early the next day and I never saw her again. Later I found out she wanted me to chase after her and beg her to come back. Any other relationship I probably would have but for some reason I just wasn’t interested in anything being hard work.
A few more dates with a few other blondes and again messed around with. Smiles and the come-on look but never wanting anything more.
The internet had arrived by this point or rather the first version of it. Compuserve USA was an online service, you could chat with people, got to forums and download pictures.
I got chatting with a woman, I really liked her, and she told me she had a child. Nothing unusual lots of women in that town had kids. When went on a couple of dates but then I stated to realize she was not telling me the truth. She was married and had 2 children and she just wanted to swing.
One of the previous come-on blondes introduced me to my first wife. Within a week she had come to visit me for a weekend. A few weeks later I went and stayed with her for a few days. We got on well and had a lot of fun. But I soon realized there were problems, she had been mentally ill, Electric shock treatment and was on medication. Very bipolar and had a temper.
In that time she was always with other guys, I’m doing this with that person or I’m doing that. One day she stayed at some guys house the night. I should have ended it then. I don’t know why I didn’t.
After a year I moved to London to be with her. She got me a job working for the government and working at Milbank London, just by the river. I asked her dad if I could marry her and he said no. he wanted us to wait. He was pretty high up in the English government and was a top ranking customs and excise official.
We both moved in with my parents. It was rough, we both got temping jobs and after a year we arranged to get married. The day of the wedding I nearly backed out , wedding nerves I don’t know but I talked myself back into it.
3 years later , my first Son came along. Life was pretty good. No Porn, no desires everything seemed good.
I got a job in another town; we wanted to move closer to her parents. I stopped with my grandparents. I was in my early thirties. I would go out with the young guys in the office. We would go roller blading, then on to the pub then more than often onto a club. We would dance the night away in a Hard Rock smoky atmosphere full of rock chic’s and goths. My friend Derick and I had a thing for goths. We would both drool. But nothing ever happened; I would stumble home and at the weekend head home.
My second son was born but by this point thing both work wise and home was bad. Constant arguing, she no longer wanted to move and I didn’t understand why. My best friend a Vicker was coming over, I never thought anything off it , just doing his pastoral duty. I was made redundant and went home.
Within weeks, I was involved in a major car wreck. My wife under pressure from her father wanted me to go back to work, turns out I had broken my neck and crushed my voice box. I set up my own company and was doing pretty well. Some months we had a lot of money others we didn’t. We never managed it well. By this time she was going out most weekends partying with her friends. One morning she came home after it got light. She confessed she had been with another man. My world collapsed. I moved to the couch and eventually to a small office attached to the house. I started going online
I started looking into the swinging seen and the bondage and dominatix scene.