So back to the history lesson.
Upon arriving back in England and in a new town I attended
was a 6th form college. Being the New guy and not having a northern
accent a couple of girls started talking to me. I started hanging out with one
in particular. We would go baby sitting together and hang out at each other’s
house. Before long I had my hand down her blouse and almost to second base. But
being a teenagers it wasn’t too sooner before her best friend came up to me and
said she didn’t want to be my girlfriend any more as I was boring , had no
money and didn’t take her anywhere. I was pretty much devastated.
Then there was another girl at the college that said hey I like
you let’s get it on. I felt uncomfortable and wanted to take my time but soon
after if found out that very same day she found an empty class room and had sex
with another guy.
Then another girl showed up, blonde and gorgeous. She wanted
to know about god and for a while we started talking and emotionally being
connected. My dad took photos of her for a magazine. She then vanished without
a trace only to tune up years later. Never a sorry I hurt you or broke you.
I was pretty much into pornography by this time , buying
anything by playboy I liked the images and told myself they was more classy
than say penthouse or hustler.
My sister introduced me to a girl that was 18 I was 22 , she
was another blonde , she could give a guy the best hand job ever. She never
wanted to do anything else. I went away to college for my second degree and she
stopped the weekend. On one return trip she was late to meet me. The next day her
friend was with her and let it out that she had seen someone else. I was devastated.
Tried getting back with her but it was all falling apart and crushing. From
that point I never wanted to let someone get so close, it was too painful and
totally crushing.
More blondes came
into my life; one was the daughter of a guy I was working. All smiles and
flirting but then when it came down to it one big headache. The other came into
a club I worked at after 3 months of flirting she went off with a guy and got
married. Funny thing is I became friends with him only to find out 20 years later
he had gone through similar experiences to me.
Then I meet another blonde. She was younger but fun but the
kind that went for the soppy stuff, teddy bears and cards, childish gogar
talk. Sad thing is by this point I just wanted
someone to hang out with. She would stop the night occasionally and we had fun.
I lost my virginity to her. Was the worst experience ever? She just lied there
did not move. She left early the next day and I never saw her again. Later I found
out she wanted me to chase after her and beg her to come back. Any other relationship
I probably would have but for some reason I just wasn’t interested in anything
being hard work.
A few more dates with a few other blondes and again messed
around with. Smiles and the come-on look but never wanting anything more.
The internet had arrived by this point or rather the first
version of it. Compuserve USA was an online service, you could chat with
people, got to forums and download pictures.
I got chatting with a woman, I really liked her, and she
told me she had a child. Nothing unusual lots of women in that town had kids. When
went on a couple of dates but then I stated to realize she was not telling me
the truth. She was married and had 2 children and she just wanted to swing.
One of the previous come-on blondes introduced me to my
first wife. Within a week she had come to visit me for a weekend. A few weeks
later I went and stayed with her for a few days. We got on well and had a lot
of fun. But I soon realized there were problems, she had been mentally ill, Electric
shock treatment and was on medication. Very bipolar and had a temper.
In that time she was always with other guys, I’m doing this
with that person or I’m doing that. One day she stayed at some guys house the
night. I should have ended it then. I don’t know why I didn’t.
After a year I moved to London to be with her. She got me a
job working for the government and working at Milbank London, just by the
river. I asked her dad if I could marry her and he said no. he wanted us to
wait. He was pretty high up in the English government and was a top ranking
customs and excise official.
We both moved in with my parents. It was rough, we both got
temping jobs and after a year we arranged to get married. The day of the
wedding I nearly backed out , wedding nerves I don’t know but I talked myself
back into it.
3 years later , my first Son came along. Life was pretty
good. No Porn, no desires everything seemed good.
I got a job in another town; we wanted to move closer to her
parents. I stopped with my grandparents. I was in my early thirties. I would go
out with the young guys in the office. We would go roller blading, then on to
the pub then more than often onto a club. We would dance the night away in a
Hard Rock smoky atmosphere full of rock chic’s and goths. My friend Derick and I
had a thing for goths. We would both drool. But nothing ever happened; I would stumble
home and at the weekend head home.
My second son was born but by this point thing both work
wise and home was bad. Constant arguing, she no longer wanted to move and I didn’t
understand why. My best friend a Vicker was coming over, I never thought
anything off it , just doing his pastoral duty. I was made redundant and went
home.
Within weeks, I was involved in a major car wreck. My wife
under pressure from her father wanted me to go back to work, turns out I had
broken my neck and crushed my voice box. I set up my own company and was doing
pretty well. Some months we had a lot of money others we didn’t. We never
managed it well. By this time she was going out most weekends partying with her
friends. One morning she came home after it got light. She confessed she had been
with another man. My world collapsed. I moved to the couch and eventually to a
small office attached to the house. I started going online
I started looking into the swinging seen and the bondage and
dominatix scene.